Celebrant & Toastmaster Reviews

Being a patient attending a hospital appointment, taking hospital phone calls or being in a hospital environment for treatment or surgery isn’t just about medical treatment. It is a journey of vulnerability, fear, and often, uncertainty.

When things go wrong, the path becomes harder, and as a patient, you rely on more than just physical healing. You start to value something intangible but powerful: compassion.

As a patient, you can feel isolated in your suffering, especially when your body doesn’t cooperate or the unexpected happens. It is in those moments when the true strength of compassion shines through. I’ve learned that compassion isn’t just about sympathy; it’s about understanding, listening skills, presence, being proactive and genuine care when everything feels volcanic. As a patient, your world is uncomfortable and misunderstood. It is not a good place to be, especially for your own mental health and healing.

The Unseen Impact of Compassion

Recently, I was faced with a complication after surgery. I was terrified. I’d spent days in a state of disbelief, hoping my recovery would go as planned. When it didn’t, my anxiety skyrocketed. I remember being surrounded by doctors and nurses just doing their job. They took notes, inputted information, checked my stats, and prescribed meds. It felt very functional, as if they had a job to do in the hours of their shift. There was no time to check in on me to see how I was or if anything could be done to make me more comfortable. Even when I rang the bell, I had to wait a while for someone to come and help me with my pain, the need to turn over, the need to go to the bathroom or help with a cleanup after an incident.

But then a health care assistant came and spoke to me as if I were human. They asked me how they could help. They did not look down on me for creating a mess. They didn’t rush. They listened as I expressed my worries, not just about my health but about how everything felt so out of control.

The words weren’t grand or full of promises. They were simple, human. “You’re not alone in this,” she said. “We’ll figure this out together.” Don’t worry about the mess”. Those sentences, in that moment, spoken with sincerity, shifted everything. I realised then that compassion is often quiet. It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. It is simply showing up and listening with understanding, ready to take action.

The Power of Presence

Amidst uncertainty, the presence of someone who genuinely cares can make all the difference. It’s in those late-night shifts when your pain is at its worst or when you’re waiting for a diagnosis that the presence of a compassionate healthcare worker feels like a lifeline. I’ve experienced moments when a hand on my shoulder or a soft, reassuring voice in the midst of chaos offered me more comfort than any medication ever could.

But compassion also doesn’t have to be a physical presence. It’s in the small things, like a nurse who checks in regularly, a doctor who takes a moment to explain things calmly, or even a knowing glance from a staff member who can tell when you’re at your breaking point. It’s their effort to see you as more than just a patient number or a condition to be treated.

When Things Go Wrong, Compassion Doesn’t Give Up

When complications arise, the road to recovery is often not smooth. There are setbacks when it feels like you’re taking two steps back for every step forward. This is where compassion, in its purest form, truly comes into play. The healthcare professionals should not give up on you when your prognosis isn’t great. The kind of care doesn’t end when the medical charts say so. They keep you in their thoughts, updating and reassuring you that your fight isn’t over.

There was a chief nurse who, despite the frustrating lack of progress, kept telling me, “It is going to take time. Your situation is complex”. You have both surgical pain and fibromyalgia pain, which is difficult to manage”. I haven’t given up, and neither should you.”

Sometimes, in the face of physical or emotional exhaustion, those words make the difference. They remind you that your journey isn’t just a clinical equation but a shared experience with people who genuinely care about the outcome.

Compassion as Healing

After everything I’ve gone through, I’ve learned that healing is not just a process of fixing what’s broken. Healing also involves mending the spirit. Whether from family, friends, or healthcare providers, compassion has a healing power that medical procedures alone cannot provide.

In those quiet moments of support, I learned the importance of empathy and connection. Compassion is the glue that holds you together when the world seems fragmented. It strengthens you to keep going, even when things don’t go as planned. Compassion stops your mental health from moving down the spectrum.

Being a patient has given me a deeper understanding of the profound impact of compassion. It’s not just a nice-to-have; it’s an essential element of the healing process. When things go wrong, compassion reminds you that you are not alone and are valued beyond your diagnosis, symptoms, and struggles. You are more than a room number.

Reflecting on my recent journey, I realise that compassion is much more than what I received. It includes communication style, being updated, being clear on timelines, listening to understand, and not listening to talk. Compassion is understanding the patient and, in essence, putting yourself in the patient’s shoes and being treated as you would want to be treated. Simple things like getting the patient’s name right and ensuring the right information is on forms. For example, not putting left knee or right hip when the complex surgery is on the left hip.

When preparing for surgery, and even in hospitals, patients put their trust and life in the hands of health care professionals. Truly understanding the value and benefits of compassion can make all the difference to a patient’s lasting memory of that time and the journey. Compassion can heal not just the body but the mind and the soul.

To find out more about what I do, follow these links:

https://www.sonaldaveevents.com

https://www.sonaldave.com

https://www.instagram.com/sonaldave68

Fibromyalgia is a chronic condition that causes widespread pain, fatigue, sleep disturbances, and often a mix of other symptoms like brain fog and mood disorders. When you live with fibromyalgia, as I do, your body is already in a heightened state of sensitivity. Everything from physical touch to stress can feel more intense, challenging even the simplest daily activities. So, when living with fibromyalgia and having surgery becomes a necessary part of your medical journey, it can feel overwhelming. It took over my life the months before and after.

Here’s how living with fibromyalgia and undergoing surgery intersect and how you can prepare for it, manage the experience, and make your recovery smoother.

Understanding the Challenge of Living with Fibromyalgia and Having Surgery

Surgical pain is acute pain which is localised to the surgical site. This typically occurs immediately after surgery and gradually decreases as the body heals. Fibromyalgia is a chronic condition causing widespread pain throughout the body with additional symptoms like fatigue and sleep disturbances where the central nervous system can amplify pain and is not limited to a specific area. In summary, surgical pain is temporary and localised, while fibromyalgia pain is persistent and widespread across the body.

People with fibromyalgia experience heightened pain sensitivity, and the body’s pain-processing system is wired differently. As a result, you may experience pain more intensely than someone without the condition. After surgery, pain management is crucial and can be more complicated due to this heightened sensitivity. In addition, medications commonly used for surgery recovery, such as opioids, might not work as effectively or may cause adverse side effects. This happened to me.

If you have fibromyalgia, you’re already used to balancing chronic pain and fatigue, so surgery can exacerbate these issues, potentially making recovery slower and more challenging. You might also experience flare-ups post-surgery, where your fibromyalgia symptoms temporarily worsen or can even become volcanic.

Here are some tips for preparing for surgery when you live with fibromyalgia

1. Consult with Your Doctor

Before undergoing any surgery, it’s vital to inform your surgeon, anesthesiologist, and primary care physician about your fibromyalgia. They need to know your specific symptoms, pain history, and any medications you are currently taking. This can help them tailor your anesthesia and post-operative care plan to suit your personal needs. I told everyone I spoke to.

2. Optimise Your Health

While fibromyalgia can’t be cured, managing your symptoms pre-surgery can help set you up for a smoother experience. Ensure you follow any treatment plans, including exercise, medication, and dietary recommendations. If you’re taking medications for pain or other symptoms, ask your doctor if any adjustments need to be made before surgery. I did most of this, but not the dietary one.

3. Mental Health Matters

The anxiety of surgery can sometimes trigger a flare-up of fibromyalgia symptoms, especially mental fog or stress-related pain. It can also affect your mental health. Stress-reducing techniques like mindfulness, meditation, or breathing exercises can help you feel more at ease. Setting realistic expectations for yourself during the recovery period is also important. I think I got that wrong in the beginning.

Surgery and Pain Management

Post-surgery pain management is crucial. While managing your fibromyalgia symptoms can already feel like a full-time job, adding post-surgical pain on top of that is tough. Here are some things to consider:

1. There is not a one-size-fits-all method here. You have to find out what works best for you. Much like managing the fibromyalgia pain.

Your pain management strategy will likely include a combination of medications and non-medication strategies. Discuss pain management options with your doctor. Some options may include:

• Medications: While traditional painkillers (like opioids) might be necessary, they can also have side effects that affect people with fibromyalgia. Your doctor may prescribe other medications, like nerve blockers, anti-inflammatory drugs, or even low-dose antidepressants, to help manage both surgical pain and fibromyalgia flare-ups.
• Physical Therapy: Gentle movement and physical therapy can assist with both surgical recovery and fibromyalgia. A therapist experienced with chronic pain can guide you through exercises that promote healing without overstressing your body. The therapist may not be experienced with fibromyalgia in your hospital, so you may have to educate them. I had to educate the therapists and other health professionals.
• Heat & Cold Therapy: Heating pads, ice packs, or warm baths can temporarily relieve pain. These therapies can also help manage fibromyalgia symptoms. Heat treatments definitely work better for me.

2. Mind Your Mental Health

Physical recovery can often feel discouraging for someone with fibromyalgia, as it is not unusual to experience feelings of frustration or depression when your body isn’t responding as you would like or remains in a pain state for long periods. Stay connected with a support group, whether through friends, family, or an online fibromyalgia community. Sometimes, knowing you’re not alone is the best remedy.

Here are some post-surgery recovery tips:

1. Prioritise Rest

While rest is critical in any recovery, it’s especially important for someone with fibromyalgia. Too much activity can worsen pain, while too little can make you feel stiff and sluggish. Striking the right balance is key; you will get it wrong before you find what works for you.

2. Listen to Your Body

We hear this all too often, but it is easy to push through the pain in the hopes of making progress. But with fibromyalgia, this approach can make things worse. Be aware of how your body feels after surgery, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed. If something feels too much, it’s okay to step back and rest. This can also mean telling the physiotherapist you must stop if the exercises are causing you pain.

3. Be Patient with Yourself

There is a huge chance that your recovery will take longer than you would like. Fibromyalgia already affects the way your body heals, so it’s important to be patient and understanding with yourself. Understand that healing may happen in stages and that having good and bad days is normal. It is also good to celebrate the small victories, whether managing your pain well, getting up from the chair, walking a bit longer with the Zimmer frame, or getting through a physical therapy session without overdoing it. They are all small steps in your recovery.

4. It’s Important to Stay Hydrated and Nourished

Healing our body takes a lot of energy, so proper nutrition and hydration are essential. You could choose to continue the diet that your body is used to, making sure that you eat well as you will be taking some high-dose medication. You could also work with a nutritionist to ensure your body gets the nutrients it needs to recover. Did you know that a healthy diet can also support your fibromyalgia management?

5. Monitor Your Symptoms

During recovery from surgery, keep an eye on your fibromyalgia symptoms. Surgery can trigger flare-ups, and it’s important to communicate any new or intensified symptoms with your healthcare provider. Managing flare-ups post-surgery requires patience and medical intervention to prevent long-term setbacks. This could be more rest, more exercise or more medication. We are all different.

A Holistic Approach to Healing

Living with fibromyalgia and undergoing surgery can be a delicate balance. It requires a combination of physical, mental, and emotional care. Setting realistic expectations and communicating with doctors, physical therapists, and mental health professionals will give you the best chance for a successful recovery.

Remember, your body is unique, and what works for someone else may not necessarily work for you. But by taking a personal approach to both your fibromyalgia and surgical recovery, you can get through this challenge with strength, patience, resilience and don’t forget support.

Please don’t forget that you’re not alone in this journey. The fibromyalgia community is vast, and there are many resources, support groups, and people who understand exactly what you are going through. Reaching out can help you feel supported, informed, and empowered as you navigate this challenging experience.

Final Thoughts

Fibromyalgia is challenging and demanding, but with strategies that work for you, balance and rest, you can navigate surgery and recovery. Make sure you communicate openly with your healthcare providers, practice self-compassion, and embrace the support of those around you. You deserve to heal in body, mind and spirit, no matter the hurdles fibromyalgia places in your way before, during and after surgery. Don’t forget, it is okay to ask for help.